Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Sandwich Maker Wanted.

Not too long ago, I stopped in at a chain sandwich store for a quick bite to eat. The only patron there was me and it was an interesting visit:

Him: What can I get for you?

Me: A 6-inch (chain name) melt, please.

Him: What kind of bread?

Me: White.

Him: Uh, we're all out of jalapeƱo.

Me: That's okay, 'coz I want white bread, please.

Him: What kind of sandwich would you like?

Me: The (chain name) melt.

He assembles the meat and cheese parts and says, "Would you like it toasted?"

Me: Um, isn't that what makes it a "melt"?!

I don't think he quite got it because he asked, "So you want it toasted, right?"

Me: Right.

We slowly but surely get through the condiment part and to the register.

Him: "Okay, you gotta, uh, what kind of sandwich again?"

Me (slowly): (Chain name) Melt.

He does the usual up-sell: "Would you like to add chips and a drink for $ more?"

Since I'm starting to wonder if he's hearing-impaired, I look him straight in the eye and enunciate: "I would like a regular drink and a cookie."

He does whatever voodoo to the register and my total comes up. It isn't quite the amount I'm expecting so I ask him to tell me what he's just rung up. The foot long and large drink response make me think I'm on a hidden-camera show.

I finally get things sorted out with him and when he asks if it's "for here or to-go," I again, look right at him and say (as clearly as I possibly can), "To-go, please." So what does he do? Hands it to me on a tray. Of course. 

I'm sincerely hoping this transaction was a gag, otherwise, I'm not sure this guy should be handling the bread knife or even the tuna spreader.


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